I’ve been asked occasionally, “Why don’t you like women?” I don’t think it’s a question of liking them or not… When I was a kid, I placed women on such a high pedestal that my dick couldn’t reach them, so I settle with the men down below.
When I say “high pedestal,” I mean that I grew up revering women, particularly my mom. And she built the first pedestal. One of my earliest memories are of my parents fighting, and my mom would always say, “God is on MY side.” I had a mental image of the Woman sitting on the right side of God. This isn’t sexy. Especially when you compare it to being intimate with a man and feeling like the gates of hell are about to open up and swallow us whole. Now that’s sexy.
The matriarchs in my family dominate the men, and I did use to have a certain awe, even a fear, about women. Today, that awe is pretty much gone, but I think the lasting effects still dictate my sexuality. Was it a conscious choice that I prefer men over women? Sometimes I think it might have been as much nurture as it was nature.
I’m not one of those gays who has a gaggle of fag hags (which is a word, by the way, that I dislike; I’m not a fag and you are certainly not a hag). To be totally honest, I have a slight distrust of women – with the exception of friends, of course – which I know is completely backward. I sometimes feel like women compete with me, which makes absolutely no sense… but it also does, in a weird way. And when I hear my straight buddies talk about the way women have screwed them over, I get rather indignant for their sakes. Yes, I know this is completely unfair, men are assholes too. I just can sympathize with them more.
As I explained to my mom, I have a very Roman approach to sexuality (minus the pedophilia). I enjoy the company of men – the camaraderie of dudes – and it doesn’t need to be overtly sexual. I have such as much fun chugging Tecate at a dive bar with some buddies as I do ogling Micky’s gogo dancers in a sea of gays.
Here’s the thing: I get women. I can talk to a chick, and if I care enough, I can fully read her within 10 minutes. I am inherently on the same wavelength as women, even the ones that front. But men. Men I do not understand, and even moreso – triply so – for gay men. I am attracted to the mystery of men. Sure, there is also mystery in women, but not for me. There’s boobs, and I’m more of a butt man myself.