YP Update 2-22-12: Thanks to readers like you (as well as Towleroad, Shanghaiist, Queerty, BananaGuide, and the high-larious gaybros and gaymers of Reddit), this blog post went viral and was reprinted today in the Huffington Post.
Check it out, and thank you. I am incredibly humbled by and grateful to you.
* * *
I didn’t pay much attention to Jeremy Lin until I realized he was getting me laid.
Story of my life: In which my insecurities take the form of mild-to-moderate narcissism and I ignore a cultural sensation – the Asian Obama, if you think about it – until it directly becomes pertinent to my sex life.
But there this pretty boy stood in front of me, who I considered far out of my league, offering to buy me a drink at Akbar, a trendy gay dive in the Silverlake neighborhood of Los Angeles.
The boy, who I’ll call Tim, was I think mixed race, and generally too attractive for me. (I tend to like gruff guys anyway, the type who look like they can take a punch.) But it’s always pleasant when an Adonis turns out to be good conversation, and after a few drinks, I asked him what he was looking for.
“To be honest,” Tim replied, taking a swig of Anchor Steam, “I’ve been on an Asian kick ever since Linsanity. I think he’s so hot, and I’m surprised I’ve never been with an Asian guy before.”
Normally I don’t like it when guys bring up my race when they’re hitting on me. Without question, race is usually a major component of sexual chemistry (and I certainly have my own preferences), but there’s no easier way to feel like a piece of meat than when you’re being compared to an anime character. But this was different. And it was entirely new to me.
I was being likened to an all-American mainstream superstar, not a niche fetish.
This dude is the most famous person in the NBA right now. No, really.
Since then, I’ve gotten wing-manned by Linsanity on several more occasions. On my Adam4Adam account, I have a picture posted that features me clutching a strategically-placed basketball. (I took this picture as one of the subjects of a photography project called Sexy Geeks.) The photoshoot was taken months before Jeremy’s Shakespearean rise to meteoric stardom, when the image of an Asian man clutching a basketball was meant to be a critique on societal stereotypes. How quickly things change.
Now, I’d gotten no less than 30 messages on Adam4Adam that directly comment on the basketball picture, gushing about Jeremy Lin.
I haven’t really paid attention to the NBA since the end of the Golden Age of the Lakers in 2004. And the only reason I paid attention to that was because of the diva bitchfight that was the Kobe/Shaq rivalry. (“Just makeout already!” I’d yell at the screen.) But this Jeremy Lin figure was ramping up my sex life, and I was curious as to why. So I Googled him.
On paper, Jeremy Lin and I have a lot in common. We are both American born. We’re both from good Christian families, we both were stellar students in school, we both grew up in California. Like my mom and dad, his parents came from Taiwan with hopes of a better future for their kids. Like my maternal grandparents, his maternal grandparents fled China to Taiwan during Mao Zedong’s takeover.
But the similarities end there. I was confused. Was it really just skin deep, this sudden spike in interest? Or is something greater at work here?
You see, I grew up completely devoid any role models that I could physically identify with. I am a thoroughly Americanized Asian man, but I’ve always felt that when it comes to my identity, I am an army of one. I feel marginalized by the stereotypes thrust upon me, even defensive. The image I present – one that I believe makes me a serious contender in my social surroundings – I’ve carefully cultivated myself, without a face to base it on.
But now, we have Jeremy. He’s two years younger than me, and while I’m a bit past the age of having role models, I’m quite happy that the younger generation has him to look up to.
It helps that Jeremy Lin is indeed quite handsome, with a megawatt smile and killer body, and, even better, in interviews he seems to be a humble and grounded guy. He’s also openly Christian, so middle America will eat him right up with extra gravy.
And while the rumors of a fling with Kim Kardashian seem at first to just be eye-roll worthy tabloid fodder, you gotta realize that she has been linked to whole roster of male sex icons, from Nick Lachey to Gabriel Aubry to Reggie Bush. In a social context, Jeremy Lin’s sexuality is acknowledged in a titillating manner. Whereas before him the sexuality of Asian men has long been ignored or even ridiculed by American pop culture, Jeremy Lin could very well be the first true Asian American stud.
This was the pre-Linsanity mainstream perception of the Asian male. Yeah... I prefer Jeremy Lin. Let's all scroll back up to his dreamy picture.
And what are the implications of this cultural messiah? Yes, first we’re going to get all the bad puns, ranging from corny to hilariously offensive. But beyond that, Linsanity could very well redefine the Asian American man as a sexually acknowledged being. Frankly put, our basketball whiz kid has given the rest of us balls. (Hey, who said I couldn’t join the bad pun train?)
Because sex is an aspirational sport. We’re hardwired to desire the likeness of success; it’s a remnant of our primordial survival skills mixed with pop culture. It’s why I have a huge crush on my neighbor who looks just like Ewan McGregor, because I associate his face with that of my favorite movie star. And it’s why Tim (the aforementioned pretty boy) suddenly was made aware of my sexual potential as a mate. He’s now been given context in the muscled form of an NBA superstar.
In this sense, Linsanity applies not just to me, but to all Asian men, regardless on where they fall on the sexual orientation spectrum. You see, blonde twinks have David Beckham, and we have Jeremy Lin.
Linsanity is a welcome phenomenon, I don’t think any athlete has gotten this much love since pre-zombie-Ambien-sex Tiger Woods, and I think it foretells a future where the Asian influence on the world extends beyond “Oh, they’re good at math, aren’t they?” I’m sure there are many Jeremy Lins out there, and in due time they will emerge as well.
And the result of these monumental shifts in the tectonic plates of global pop culture? I’ll get laid. Progress!
- YP
P.S. This post marks my return to this blog after a four-month hiatus. Thank you for your loyalty; I’ll fill you in on my exploits during my bout of writer’s cock (typo, but it stays).
Please also check out my contributions to the fabulous and Oprah-endorsed sex advice website Em & Lo as one of their newest “Wise Guys,” offering a male perspective to reader questions. (I’m credited there as “Justin Huang,” my less exciting alter-ego.)
Excellent and thoughtful post. Well done. =D
Thank you. Yummy blog!
Too bad I don’t look anything like Lin (or other clean-cut, smooth Asian guys) to reap the benefits of Linsanity, but if it’s getting you tail, more power to you.
Personally, if someone came up to me and tried to equate their attraction for me with Jeremy Lin, I’d roll my eyes, raise an eyebrow and nod at whatever they were saying until they go away. It’s not a smooth move for me at all.
My assessment of Linsanity is tongue-in-cheek in its narcissism, but this glass ceiling he’s broken does indeed have more to do with general social perceptions than it does with my bedroom traffic.
“We’re hardwired to desire the likeness of success; it’s a remnant of our primordial survival skills mixed with pop culture.”
John Amos, Ricardo Montalban, Yul Brynner, Gregory Sierra &, of course, Bruce Lee. Although John Saxon, Paul Newman, Tom Wopat, & Robert Conrad are perfectly lovely, couldn’t wait for the opportunity to move in next to some diversity. Subsequently, found out the glaringly obvious: appearances are just that. People are people, nice & not-so-nice. Thoughtfulness, a sense of humor & integrity are the real head-turners now. However, from this remove, Noma Han, Chow Yun Fat & Jung Ji-Hoon (Rain) are hella hot. Mmm…think I made my point & then meandered. Apologies. Great article, YP, welcome back.
That’s an interesting statement. You wonder how many of us go through our lives never aware our (possibly available!) neighbor is totally hot, just because our neighbor’s face hasn’t appeared on the tv screen to great acclaim.
As a white kid, I was super intrigued the first time I saw the likes of, off the top of my head
I had to Google Image some of those names, but yes, quite a dreamy sampler’s platter!
Despite the fact that the pickup line “I’ve been on an Asian kick…” makes my skin crawl, I’m glad Linsanity has given you at the very least the first right of refusal!
Great post, as usual.
I know, I had to roll my eyes at that one.
We have a lot in common, being Asian, from California, and good students, but the similarities stop there.
“To be honest,” Tim replied, taking a swig of Anchor Steam, “I’ve been on an Asian kick ever since Linsanity. I think he’s so hot, and I’m surprised I’ve never been with an Asian guy before.”
I would NEVER let anybody talk to me like that! That’s not flattering, its disgusting! I grew up in Los Angeles and spent the better part of the last 10 years as a professional athlete and an Ivy League grad, so I feel like I can relate. But at the same time, I can’t relate to your take on this at all! Frankly as an Asian man, this offends me more than some hipster white twink telling me he’s not into Asians (which has never happened). The only person who can emasculate you, IS YOU, and it seems like you’ve done a good job with your own castration.
Successful Asian Athletes who you could’ve been looking up to growing up. Bruce Lee, Mark Foo , Michael & Derek Ho, and Michael Chang; I could go on and on. Its not easy being an Asian man, believe me I KNOW. Man up and the world will open up to you with or without a successful Asian guy playing basketball well in the NBA
I don’t think we need to attack each other for our own unique experiences as Asian American men.
RGB, it seems that you have some personal issues that have put you on a huge defense, and taking them out on the writer isn’t the way to deal with them.
I’m not gay, but I’m a Korean man, and I do think that the writer is right in that society has in the past de-sexualized Asian men, but with the coming of Jeremy Lin (who, with due respect to the athletes you mentioned, is someone the entire nation has actually heard of) Asian men are now being seen in a different light.
Thank you for reading, Tyler.
I really do understand this unique Asian anger that RGB is displaying, because I had it for a long time. I just realized that pretending something isn’t real is just a form of denial, when really, we should talk about it.
I hope more people rage at this article, or agree with it, or are perplexed by it. Any discussion is good in my book.
Great post.
My partner and I were watching bits and pieces of the Lakers game from Vegas, and he was jumping off the t.v. screen.
Then on Valentines day we got to be in the house for his last minute rally to beat the Raptors in Toronto – 2 consecutive 3 pointers, the last with .5 seconds on the clock. The crowd exploded! Great to see history in the making, even if our team took it on the chin.
I am sorry if you feel attacked, but you just wrote something and blanketly applied it to every Asian American male to have ever existed. Then you disrespected decades of Asian Male Athletes that have done more for society. Then you got your thoughts published on one of the most read gay blogs in the country. Than feels like an attack on me and every other Asian man who has the balls to not let society dictate who he is as a man.
The thing that bothers me the most about your misinformed opinions and offensive stereotyping, is that you’ve take this monster chip on your shoulder and have made it gospel! Tmoawesome thing about being Asian American is that no matter what they’ve done to us, we were never the victims! You’ve reduced us as an entire race to dickless wimps, and that’s terrible!
I think you’re projecting a bit, and I advise that using overblown rhetoric without a sense of irony just makes you seem irrationally angry.
But again, this is your opinion, and I honor it, even if it’s coming from a misinterpreted view of this post.
I am not projecting anything. You took a pic of yourself naked with a basketball to be ironic because this is how you view asian people. I know your type, I grew up in a rather large Asian community. Internalized racism isn’t anything new to me. I have also heard this tired logic about society keeping us down, blah blah bla etc… Its you who needs to be honest with yourself both as an asian and (I assume) an artist. People see you the way you see yourself. You let a white guy objectify you because the attention felt good and then you thanked a basketball player who you’ve now dubbed the apex asian of the world.
Am I really projecting something here? If so, wht is it? Yes I am angry, but only because you don’t give your people the credit we deserve.
Well, you have incredibly valid points in general, though they don’t apply directly to me. You should write a blog post about this!
I honestly wish I could talk this over with you over a beer or something. I feel like comment sections are just too easy to troll. Just like you, I’m a person with a unique collection of life experiences and reactions under my belt, and when you throw these accusations like “internalized racism” at me, it does both of us harm.
Personally I’m fascinated by your viewpoint. I don’t think that way at all, but I understand it. If you ever want to guest blog on my site, I’d be more than willing.
Hopefully you don’t take any of that as an insult.
Well now I am sorry for being such a prick. I do understand where you are coming from, I work both in front of and behind the camera so I know how hard it is for all minorities, but I have never viewed being Asian as a negative. I didn’t mean to sound like a troll or to be so aggressive and confrontational. I am just very passionate about this issue.
As you should be passionate! I’m incredibly proud to have you as a fellow Asian man. You fight the good fight.
I hope you continue to read more of my blog. Maybe even venture into the archives? I feel we can both learn a lot from each other.
Wait, did someone just have a disagreement, come to mutual understanding, and actually apologize for any slights in a blog comment section? I need to read this blog more often.
Great post. And I like the Sexy Geeks shots, too.
Indeed, this is a good vibes zone!
If you want to stay informed of future blog posts, follow me @justinhuang.
By the way, I’m sipping on the most fabulous Malbec right now.
Awesome blog. If Linsanity is the reason I was able to see this and stumble on over, then I wholeheartedly welcome it! Cheers
Exactly, that is the point, isn’t it? With Linsanity comes a brand new American perspective, and that is what has fueled his star power. It’s exciting times we live in.
Thanks for the compliment. Hope you continue reading!
I love that your bot filter has us do math.
Your post is funny. I’m a gay Asian guy in his 40s, and I pretty much only sleep with 20 somethings because I find they have a lot fewer racial hang-ups than guys 30+
I once had a guy say the same thing to me: “You know, I’ve never slept with an Asian guy before.” I couldn’t help but respond, “I’ve never slept with a douchebag before, but it looks like I’m gonna give that a try, huh?” We didn’t hook up after all, but it was worth the look on his face.
I found my sexual “center” by spending 4 years overseas in China. I realized then that I could walk into a bar and actually BE the guy the other guys were looking for. I’ve carried that with me ever since. Now when guys ignore me, I just feel like they’re missing out, like people who don’t like spicy food. They’re just bland, sad people. I hope that Jeremy Lin’s rise to fame will help a lot of people searching for their own sexual center to see themselves as desirable, hot, sexual beings. God knows the media tells them over and over that they are not.
Yes, I too have found that guys who are more open about their sexual preferences tend to be better in the sack
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Is it offensive for you to hear a white guy say “I’m a rice queen”? Is it offensive if a white guy refers to two asian guys together as “sticky rice”? I know that Asian gay men own these memes, but do they take offense at a white guy saying it?
Is it fetishizing gay Asian men to find them attractive?
Honest questions.
-41 year old white guy who has dated exclusively Asian for 10 years now in San Francisco and loves every minute of it.
Personally speaking, I think that terms like “rice queen,” “sticky rice,” “gaysian,” “cragaysian,” and “potato queen” are kinda cute. I know that they’re really demeaning in some ways, and I’d hate for someone to approach me and just say point blank, “I’m a rice queen and you’re Asian so let’s do this.” But in a casual gay social setting, it’s just words. I try not to give words too much power, because then the big picture gets ignored.
And as for “fetishizing” gay Asian men: you don’t need to call it a “fetish.” You have foot fetishes, underwear fetishes, balloon fetishes. You don’t fetish an entire race. You have a preference. Nothing wrong with that in my book.
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You are one heck of a good writer, Yellow Peril! From one who knows…
Thank you!
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I often and always do bristle in disgust when someone brings up my “Asian-ness” even when it’s positive like with your account or this White guy texting how I am his sexy Asian prince because I feel Asian has to be an necessary adjective for my sexuality, I can’t just be sexy, I have to be Asian sexy. And I can’t just be a prince, it has to be King and I type prince.
With Linsanity, I think it’s a step in the right direction but everything else is still tagged with “Asian” which is a specific form of attraction, that while true, is difficult to be thought of as just a person, without a racial component…it’s obviously impossible to achieve but sexy Asian jock is better than short frumpy accented Chinese man with triangle straw hat. Wing Wong bung bong.
So I agree that my Asian sexuality will get some much needed attention (I’ve ignored Sexy Asian Prince guy cause he was too much of an immature bitch queen guy) and thanks to Lin for breaking that cultural wall, to you for writing this, but the puns have got to stop!
Right after sexy princes play out their Linfantasies on me.
Agree wholeheartedly. I get annoyed when people tell me I’m a “hot Asian.” What do they mean by that? I’m hot… but hot for an Asian guy? Are the standards of “hotness” lower for Asian men?
Then I realize not to overthink it, and that the keyword here is “hot,” and I say thank you.
As an Asian man from the SoCal area, I have to say I noticed a spiked interest in Asian men ever since Harry Shum Jr. has been featured on Glee. Any time you look up his name on Google or Yahoo, you’re autofill immediately assumes you’re researching pictures of his rock hard abs. Every week I’d notice more and more white women venturing out on the town with their newly attached Asian beaus–but it’s true, Lin-sanity has taken it to a new level.
I’m not saying it’s right, but who am I to judge…if it opens the door for people to see potential in someone that they normally wouldn’t because of their ethnic heritage, then at the very least I’m happy that they’re giving said person the opportunity. However, personally I’d hold my potential f*ck buddy or whoever to a higher degree of standard than to blatantly explain to me that I’m satisfying some curious check list. I don’t care how hot he is.
Bottom line–don’t ask, don’t tell.
Agree. Everyone has a right to their sexual preferences, but let’s not expound them.
Hey Yellow Peril,
Well written piece. I found this piece intriguing enough to go through your archives. Am I mis-reading, or did you profess you’ve never seen another Asian penis? I’m referring to your entry titled ““Let’s Talk About Your Penis.” – My Therapist”
I could be wrong, but I’m going to hazard a guess: you’re not sexually attracted to other Asian men.
If that is the case, I’d like to ask, has Jeremy Lin’s pro-Asian aphrodisiac affected the way you view Asian men?
Ah, but that was written nearly a year ago, and a lot can happen in a year
Oh snap.
That opening line is amazing.
I figured Linsanity would be a dating boost for Asian guys but didn’t know it would be this quick. Now Asian guys can know how it feels to be an Asian girl! Have fun and use protection!
Thank you, it came to me in the shower!
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“. We’re hardwired to desire the likeness of success”–I know this is not true. We are certainly not “hardwired” to desire the “likeness of success”. The human being i have most desired in my Life is by no means “successful” according to the standards of Capitalist Culture in which success means being Rich. I am not attracted to Rich people. I find them revolting–i want to revolt against them. I am attracted to people regardless of their economic means. And in fact, i have desired most a man many people would call “poor”. Socialist Edward Carpenter, one of the “foreparents” of the Queer Liberation movement, was most deeply in Love with a man outside his social class, a Poor man, a working class man. I myself am a one of the working poor, as are many African American men like me. Queer Men like me can not afford to allow “success” to be the measure of our desire.
Your definition of “success” is different then from the mainstream. You still are attracted to your own perception of what is “successful,” I’m sure?
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Dear Justin:
Although some of my best friends are Asians (really) I generally am not a rice queen.
However, after reading your HuffPost blog and this one, YOU have become a role model to this post middle aged balding short fat white Jewish man.
Thank you for your humorous incisive thoughts.
Sincerely,
Robert J. Feldman
btw my website may still be “under construction”
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Hi Justin, The reason why anyone and some Asians included – would be easily offended and be called names is a lack of self confidence. Being drop-dead gorgeous on the outside only gets you so far, and reduces you to a sexual object. And an obsession on how you look to others is a manifestation of lack of self confidence. Hence, “fuck me, therefore I am”. Any positive attention is good for one’s ego, but sexual infatuation doesn’t amount to anything but a quick lay. JL is sexy because he is self-confident and his self-confidence is infectious; humans gravitate towards leadership and charismatic people. I can appreciate RGB’s comment and understand where he is coming from. Personally I think anyone who has a fetish for a particular race of people or a hair colour i.e. BLONDES – are to be avoided since they are dating an ideal, and not the person.
Like I always say, hotness is 90% confidence and 10% lighting.
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